How to feel comfortable with yourself

    Truthfully, I've never been an achiever. I'm hardly what you call someone who has it all. I've never been the pretty one or the smart one, at least I've never heard that compliment till a couple of months ago. I'm not as outgoing as most people and it amazes me when I meet people who've achieved far more than I have. I'll admit, there are times when I feel small and insignificant compared to them. It's taking a while but I think I've found that little secret to being comfortable with yourself. I'll share it with you but first a little background about myself.

     I'm not an overachiever, far from it. I'm not someone who scores A+'s and HDs (High Distinctions) regularly. I'm not athletic, neither am I extremely talented. I'm average and that can sometimes make you feel less than. Being average can be dull, you're good enough to do something decent but you don't necessary have that little something that makes you stand out from the rest. You're just there. I grew up being average, one because I never tried hard enough and two because I just never believed in myself. There was a point in time when I felt ugly, I joke about it now but the reality is that during my early teen years I felt the ugly. I felt unattractive and that subconsciously takes a toll on your self esteem. Despite the things that were done to improve my looks, I saw the need to use these tools as an indication that I was uglier than normal.

      Fast forward to 2016, I entered a new chapter in my life. Prior to that though, I crushed every ounce of self esteem, ego and confidence I had in myself when I decided to stop chasing a dream I'd been dreaming about for years. Entering this new chapter was exciting but borderline terrifying until I met a group of people that would change the way I saw myself for good. I should also mention that prior to entering this university, the person I was was very different from who I am today. Between the September 2015 to January 2016, I became someone who didn't want to socialise and fell into a paradox of knowing my capabilities as a person yet feeling incredibly undesirable when it came to making friends. I couldn't mix with anyone and in the end I started to feel lonely and ugly once again.

      So what made me view myself differently? Well, the simple answer to that is my friends. Oddly enough they saw me as someone who exudes confidence. Someone who was smart and pretty and nice. I brushed it off as much as I could. How could I be smart or pretty? Were they insane? Brushing it off only lasts for so long though especially when you start getting HDs for your assignments. Again I'll mention that getting HD's is nothing special and it doesn't define how smart one is.

      Back to the main agenda. How do you feel comfortable with yourself? Honestly it's not hard but it does require letting go of a couple of things.

1. You are who you are - You are unique and you are beautiful. You are special and unlike anyone people have ever met. You cannot be replace by anyone in this world and you make a difference
2.  The achievements of others do not define you - In fact they have nothing to do with you at all. They might excel in academics, you might just very well excel somewhere else. You are not less than relevant because you didn't achieve what others achieved. You are not them and you shouldn't be
3. Every achievement counts - I think this one is super important for those of us who are insecure. Got top in class? That's an achievement. Can you make yourself say things in different accents? That's an achievement too. Achievements do not always have to be printed on a piece of paper and handed to you in a scroll in front of everyone. You define achievement, not the other way around
4.  Learn to see failures as stepping stones - failure is nothing but what you define it as. Learn to see failures as part of the learning process. Learn to gracefully accept your failures and understand that everyone fails. Accept failures as they are and move on.
5. Believe in yourself - sometimes things get tough and you feel like you can't go on. Learn to trust yourself and your capabilities to push through. And if you start feeling insecure, put that aside and focus on what you need to do. You are more than your insecurities and sometimes the best way to deal with insecurities is to not deal with them at all

      So there you have it, 5 ways to feel comfortable about yourself. Frankly, it's easier said than done but with practice and a whole lot of patience you'll get there some day. 

Good luck and All The Best!

Sincerely,

Siemone